*EteRniTy*

have you ever been afraid of the silence before? have you ever been afraid of the concept of home? who says home is your safe haven. liar! home is nothing but a chain! why can't i be free to roam around all the days of my life. don't ever settle down for too long in one place. you're only making room for others to enter and then leave. why give them the chance?
anyway back to silence. fear breeds hate don't you think? because you're afraid therefore you put up a front of hate.. an emotion strong enough to cover another equally strong emotion. the longing yet the fear of what it will bring. things never go according to plan. why can't i just get use to that and not hve any expectations at all. oh thats right its because i'm an idiot. so fear makes me stay away but all i want is to go back. still even if i do it'll never be the same. all i want to do is distract myself so much that i'll nver have to think again. i need something to distract me. but everything is so tasteless. music has lost its hold. its all so bland. interractions with people have become so strange and formal. what do they see? what do they know. they know NOTHING. only a handful will understand, but they will also know.. this is something no one can help you with. the only person who can help you is YOU!
so fuck my life. all i want is to run far enough to never think again. never. its too painful.